Specially For A Girl Who I Hurt Deeply

She's hurt..Badly hurt..Its so deep, so deep..Everything happened because of me..A person who never appreciate what she have done for me..

When i saw her tears dropped, it sound heartbreak for me..A broken heart who break in my hand..I caused it to break, and yet i cant cure it..Her tears, a single drop mean millions of times to me..Its mean so much..It never cure, cause of me..Cause of i said she don't understand me well.. I should have not say that to her but i did..She mean everything to me.. What i did is just say sorry..However, millions times of sorry didn't equal to what she had suffered..

When i see u cried, its just like a million knifes stabbed into my heart, its pain..Its awful pain..When compared to what you suffered, its just like an ant bite..I hate myself for being like this..Why you are the one who suffered for the problem i caused..I just cant do anything.. And i don't even know you not happy for the whole day is because of me..Until she told me with tears in her eyes..Am i STUPID???YES I AM..AM I SELFISH??YES I AM..I'm stupid I'm an idiot..

I'm so sorry..I didn't mean to say you not understand me well..I just want u to entice me more..I just want u to concern me more..I'm greedy..I wanted more from you..Cause you so important to me..I say like that didn't mean you not understand me well..I just wanted you to use other way to entice me..I really appreciate everything that you done for me..You really concerned for me..You mean so much for me..You mean everything for me..

I'm sorry my baby gal..Please forgive me..Please forgive my stupidness, my selfish..I don't want you to cry for me..I don't want you to drop any single drop of tears because of me..Because of me, you've hurt..Because of me, you've cried..From now on, you wont be sad because of me anymore..I wanted to bring smile to your face, I want you to stay happy for every moment..Because of you, I know what is meant for my life..

Forgive me..

Jimmy

...........

long time away again...
2 weeks..not lazy, not busy...
just i dunno wanna post what at here..

coming back from penang last night..
done with all the things at the morning and went on to have a walk after that..
its been six years since my last visit..
its did not change that much but there are lot of new buildings..
have some har mee and asam laksa there..NICE!!!! and also the cendol...
u always want one more after finish..its reli nice...

busy times is coming..
presentation on next week...
assignment too...plus a day tour is coming also..
its totally busy all the time..and yet i have to find sometime for my PS2..
hehe..lastly i no need to end up in cc all the night...

cant wait for the tour this sunday...
wish it to be a wonderful day for all of us...

miss her...

back to kampar..i saw her again..
is a long time since the last day..
20++ days...

nthg much changed..still the same of me..
and still the same of her..
i keep missing her all the days..
wonder if one day i can hold her hands..
walk under a nice sunset..
let her lean on my shoulder...
and enjoy the moments together..
all sort of this come out my mind frequently..
wonder if it will happpen...
been wondering......

apparently it reli got nothing to do with my fren asking this and that..
its reli ok for it...
need no to apologize..haha..
btw enjoy the days and life..
wish u all the best with her too...

wonderful times...

It's been a long time since the last post..
not i lazy to post but i got no time for this...

Finally i back to kampar..
new sem new sub and also some new friends...
been busy sometime on the 2nd week...
tt with members...bbq..it been a wonderful days for me..
and both of the days i slept after 5 am...
the next day then like zombie..feel like wanna die...
totally tired...
2 weeks ad...still got no mood to study..
eventhough we ad start our assignment..
but still my mind thinking where to go tonight...
what should i do to past the boring nite??
cc??tt??or movie??
lot of things to think...

barbeque nite...it so successful..
nice food..nice wasabi...nice water balloons war games..
eventhough we broke 2 chairs..sound like we fighting or wat..
haha..thanks to all my beloved t07 mates...
u all are always the best...
to those who snap the photo..55 upload...
cant wait to see it...

shall back to hometown this weekend...
gotta plan for something else the next week..

Sem Break Ending....

Sem break going to end soon..
Next week need to back to study..
starting the previous busy life again but not for the first 2 weeks...

this weekend might head up to langkawi for a tour..
but that might change due to some reason..maybe end up staying at home only..
but still i'll only back to kampar on 3rd June..

Nothing much actually happened in this few weeks...
some argument with friends..but finally settle lor..
hopefully there wont be second time for us..
and i apologize for it..may everything being well for her soon...

525..a good number to remember..a nice number for me..
Should have done the things on that day...
but i got no idea for that..no courage to do it..
so ended up no effort no outcome..
and that's all..
i still the same things..no more no less..
so do her..she still she..nothing to link with me..
maybe it will never be..Never be...

Boring sem break..

What a boring sem break for me this few times...
suddenly feel that the busy life when study is much more better than the free time-passing life now..
11 till now..a weeks gone..
what have i done??nothing..
any improvement??nope..
have i tell her???no also..

but i did one thing...I miss her every minutes of the day..
yes..its true..I miss her so much..
But what can i do even though i miss her??
its none..nothing i can do..
and i wont take any action to prove so..
that's jimmy LKY..proved to be useless in this kind of shit..
yes..proved as u see now...
and so on..u wont see anything from me..
i dun dare to do i dun dare to tell...
i have no guts for that....

I shall keep it in heart..
and live on in this situation...
just live on.........

I'm so mad of it...I'm so disappointed...

Maybe i should not back to home today...
its not that good for me..

I was so mad for what happen today...
and so disappointed of it...
wtf...i din even do wrong..
yet u all blame me and scold me..
the whole day long i never heard any words that you all spoke softly to me...

I'm already 23..going to be 24..
Yet you all still think me as a 3 yrs old kid to do that kind of nonsense..
you all scold me for nothing..
and yet still blaming for that kind of shit..
wtf..i did nothing wrong...why i'm the one who get blamed..

fine then..keep blaming and scolding as you all want..
I wont either care of anything you all say..
and i wont care for anything of you all business..
do whatever you all want..think whatever you all want to think..
don't fuck everything up and then blaming me for not caring..
its none of my business.....

I shall leave to kl by tomorrow..
i don't want to stay at here....
I feel like no home..
no warm..no care....